Knowing when to end a relationship isn’t an exact science, but destructive habits can lead to the eventual downfall of any love affair. Some relationships can weather difficult storms with a happy ending at the end of the journey, but some encounter repeated destructive habits than cannot be overcome.
The four following issues are those that can lead to the destruction and eventual collapse of a relationship. If these issues are not addressed and continue to control and dominate the relationship, then it is a sign that the partnership could be doomed to fail.
#1 Unequal System of Giving and Taking
Giving more than receiving on a day in and day out basis can be a destructive habit in a relationship. In most relationships, one person gives while another takes, and then the roles are reversed. For example, a real estate agent may be more demanding in the relationship during busy spring months whereas a ski instructor might be out of town and require more flexibility during winter weekends.
In a healthy relationship, partners understand that demands, stresses, and circumstances ebb and flow, but both learn to give and take an even share. However, giving without ever receiving can lead to a negative downward spiral that has little hope for recovery.
#2 Dominant Control Issues
Dominant control in a relationship never has a positive outcome. Some people in a relationship tend to want to control their significant other. Whether it is a serious relationship or just a spring fling, controlling behavior is not healthy. Both sides of the coin are equally destructive; it is dangerous to be controlled, and it is destructive to act in a controlling manner.
Allowing a partner to dictate schedules, outings, finances, friendships, entertainment, and decisions is a relationship habit that will lead to destruction. If the controlling partner isn’t willing to change, it is time to get out.
#3 Valid Reasons for Distrust
Issues of trust aren't easily resolved. In a relationship, there has to be a fair amount of trust. If a significant other is always leaving room to be distrusted, then it is a sign that the relationship needs to end. Elusive answers to questions, secret outings, locked passwords, and hidden agendas are all signals that trust issues are at stake.
A relationship based on distrust means that one or both partners are acting in ways that are questionable. Faithfulness is a key ingredient in a healthy and productive relationship, so anything that tempers with that ideal is not profitable. If a partner is cheating, it is time to end the relationship.
#4 Manipulation
Manipulation to get a desired end result brings chaos to a relationship. Using manipulation to get attention or affection always results in destructive behavior. Manipulation often leads to a warped type of codependency that is unhealthy for both partners. Panicked crying, begging for attention, and demanding affection from a partner all lead to destruction and inevitable doom for a relationship.
In summary, these unhealthy issues in a relationship can lead to its eventual demise. Quick and assertive response to these destructive behaviors is the only way to change an unwanted outcome. If a partner is not willing to give a fair share, release control, encourage trust, and refuse to manipulate, then it is time to end the relationship before it causes long-term emotional damage.
Learn more about this author, Kristine Tucker.
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Monday, October 4, 2010
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